turn over

i wish to 'start over'. please i dont wish to lose yall. i want to find my way back.

Bad...

Ingot a feeling i screwed up yet again.

I need to change.

paramore~~

I am going away for a while
But I'll be back don't try and follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
And it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes

And run from them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles

Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify
Our broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run to them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away

And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

They echo me in circles

paramore~

We still live in the same town, well, don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore.
I go to all the same places, not even a trace of you..
Your days are numbered at 24.
And I'm getting bored waiting round for you,
We're not getting any younger, and I
Won't look back 'cause there's no use
It's time to move forward!

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave!
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time for feeling sorry!

I tried not to think of what might happen,
When your reality, finally, cuts through.
Well, as for me, I got out and I'm on the road.
The worst part it that this (THIS!), this could be you.
You know it too, you can't run from your shame!
You're not getting any younger, time,
Is passing by, but you waited awake..
It's time to roll over!

I feel no sympathy,

You lived inside a cave!
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time for feeling sorry!

And all the best lies,
They are told with fingers tied!
So cross them tight,
Won't you promise me tonight
If it's the last thing you do, you'll get out..

now. forget you.

i think its bout time i stop.

band, band. band. band. band. band. choir =)

ive decided to join an additional 2 outside bands. so now im involved in 6. Peixin, StGab, SP Symphonic and SPJazz along with the latest SWS Youths and finally the big band formed by elias. not to forget SRC choir!

so a week (in the holidays) would look like this:
monday SPSB 630-930
tuesday Peixin 9-5, SPJazz 630-930
wednesday peixin 9-5, SPSB 630-930
thurs StGab 1-5, SPJazz 630-930
fri either Peixin or StGab in the afternoon, SRC prac 830-10
saturday Peixin 9-3, SRC 530 mass, big band 730-930
sunday SWS 11-2.

hah. more of less planned a schedule...

how sad, now that i think about it.

but im fine with it..

i guess.

hmmm....

it seems im only to live and not divulge my feelings and emotions to others. not unless i tell them to the persons it relates to. seem to drift apart every time i admit or share a sensitive issue with a neutral party. im a total loss to how it always seem to happen. i know that i should be making more efforts. but things seem to completely block me off. ive grown weak to facing up to failures. its always so difficult to pick myself up so thats why i look to minimize my misgivings. be more cautious and open minded and strong.

I don't mean to run.
But every time you come around I feel more confusion than ever.
And I guess it's too much, maybe I'm still too young and I don't even know what's real.
But I know I never wanted anything so bad.

If you let me love you.
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
And be the one I'm looking for.

Help me come back down
From high above the clouds.
But I blame myself.
And why do I deny the things that burn down deep
I'm barely breating.
But you just give a smile.
And I don't want to let this go.

next year

it went fine, but im gonna be among the top next year. slight disappointment, i wanna rectify that. im not serious enough this time. but, anyhow, congrats to the top 3. the standard is set. its gonna be different for me next year. and much more difficult.